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The Backdoor Basics : Anal 101

The Backdoor Basics:  Anal 101

What is anal sex ?


There is no ‘’correct ‘’ or by contrast ‘’wrong’’ way to experience your sexuality , no one way is better than another – what works for you and what you would like to experiment with is just that – up to you! 

Anal sex can be awesum – but if you’re a little worried about trying or apprehensive don’t fret – just know that there is nothing wrong with it , it ain’t gross or weird! 

The anus if full of nerve endings which , for some people,  feel absolutely sublime when stimulated. Probably why its been documented all the way back to the ancient Greeks and then some! The opening of the anus is chock-full of nerve endings , meaning even a little play around the area will feel incredible-  so you don’t have to go too far too soon if you don’t want to !


Is putting stuff in my butthole safe ? 


Anal sex is sex, and with all sex it’s completely safe as long as it’s safety first! The lining of the anus is sensitive and can be more prone to damage than other areas of our bodies. To decrease any risk it’s important to use precautions for everyone involved- including condoms, dams, lubricant and of course communication – including safe words. 

The main thing to remember with anal sex is to go slow. Go at your own pace and get to know your body and how it all feels for you – try starting off with a small butt plau or some beads- experiment and enjoy it!


Does it hurt ? 


Anal sex can feel absolutely incredible , which is why there are so many anal toys and so many people include it in their sex life. But slow and steady wins the race. If you go too much , too big or too far too fast it can hurt. Remember to relax first . Anal sex should not be painful and by following the right steps like open communication, plenty of lube ( there is never enough ) and going slow you can have a very pleasurable experience- and if it ever is painful or uncomfortable , ask your partner to stop. 

Anal sex with and without a prostate 

Without a prostate 

You don’t have to have a prostate to enjoy anal – remember all those nerve endings! The rectum is expansive, but unlike the vagina it is not built to accommodate an infants head . 

The anus is not as malleable as a vagina, and having something in your rectum is a while other feeling. The anus is tight by design ( no prizes for guessing why ) so again , go slow and use lube . Work your way up to larger toys and a penis ( or two or three , more power to you ) 

Although the anus is not specifically for pleasure- unlike the clitoris , some vagina owners find that anal sex actually stimulates the internal clitoris , which can be out of this world pleasurable.


With a prostate 

The prostate is a walnut shaped gland between the bladder and penis. However this is no ordinary walnut- It is a walnut  that can give you an orgasm. It is located just in front of the rectum and so can be invigorated using a finger, toy or penis!

It produces prostate fluid which is part of seme. During anal sex prostate owners  say that when it is stimulated it feels pretty other worldly on the pleasure scale. Anal sex can send a prostate owner sky rocketing into a prostate induced orgasm! 



Consent and Anal Sex 


No brainer, right? Wrong. More than ever it is imperative that consent be taught in sexual health education . Communication is key , and consent is imperative for an enjoyable experience. Talking about sex in general can be a bit daunting, and there is no exception with anal .

 Have an open conversation with your partner/partners about something new that you would like to try. Be honest and relaxed. If everyone is open to it and ready to try its time to get started! 



How to 

All about the base! Never shove anything up that hole unless it is attached to another person or has a flared base. If anything goes wrong – don’t panic. Stuck? Go to the emergency room, trust me they’ve seen it all and more ( besides you’ll liven up their shift). 

Start small and slow. Try a finger first ( with lube ) the rectum is expansive so just take your time and don’t force anything.As you feel more aroused and comfortable , try a  very small butt plug first ( with lube ) , move things around and feel the different sensations, and take your time ( with lube – are you getting the picture? ) Go slow with yourself or your partner/partners and work your way up! Remember if it is ever painful or uncomfortable – just stop and ask your partner to do the same.



Lube, lube , lube and more lube. ‘Go slow’ and ‘lube’ are the hot tickets to successful anal ! The anus does not produce a natural lubrication like a vagina. There are hundreds of lubes out there ranging from vegan and water based to silicone and even oil.

 With condoms silicone and water based are best , if you are incorporating toys stick with a water based lube, But always add extra , the more lube the more comfortable you will be! 


Everybody Poops

After all it is the butthole we are talking about everyone! Fecal matter exists and we are talking about the butt here. We have all heard stories form a little chocolate on a finger to a Picasso on a lampshade- but that’s why douches are available. 

Anal douches come in all shapes and sizes – you will  not poo while you are having anal sex, but if you are worried , take the anxiety away with a douche. They are easy and clean to use. Most bulb type douches just need to be filled with water which is a little warm for comfort .

 Pop some lube on the top and slowly insert it into the anus and squeeze the bulb. Remove the nozzle and hold , relieve yourself after a minute or so in the toilet. Repeat if you would like. Larger douches are available like shower or ‘hot water ‘ bottle douches, but as with the act itself- just take your time and work your way up!