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Sex and Trans Young People

Trans people have all types of sex, with all types of bodies! “Sex” describes a massive range of things, from oral, vaginal, anal, penetrative, non-penetrative, mutual masturbation, and plenty besides – there’s about as many ways to have sex as there are people to have sex, and if you’re enjoying it and it’s safe, all’s good. You can masturbate, have sex with one other person, or have sex with multiple people at the same time, no matter what your gender or sexual orientation. Trans and non-binary people can enjoy sex as much as anybody else, and it’s OK to do so! Some people have worries if they get sexual excitement from dressing up in sexy clothes, because some people say that makes you not trans or non-binary. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth – cisgender people get sexual excitement from dressing up or putting effort into their appearance all the time. You should enjoy this if it’s fun for you! If you’re having problems having sex, or it’s uncomfortable or not enjoyable, stop and see what the problem is – you may find that changing how you have sex changes things for the better, allowing you to have a really fulfilling and safe sex life. We’re not going to cover every way to have sex here – there are plenty of other places to read about that – but being trans or non-binary can affect how you have sex, and can change how you approach having sex. If you’re reading other sexual 18 health guides, remember that these usually aren’t written by trans and non-binary people – lots of them mention men having certain bodies and women having other bodies, and very little about non-binary people. Your body is yours, no matter what your gender is. So are your genitals, and it’s OK to use them for pleasure, procreation or both as long as you want to. Two trans guys having sex are having gay sex if they say they are, and a trans woman and a cisgender man are having heterosexual sex if that’s how they define it. 

How you identify doesn’t determine how you have sex, or what you have to call it. You can call your genitals whatever makes you comfortable, and you can have sex in any ways that make you happy too. You should practice safe sex if you can, by using contraceptives, which will protect you and your partners against unwanted pregnancy, and prophylaxis (condoms and some HIV treatments), which protect against sexually transmitted infections. If you’re disabled or have a chronic illness, it’s important to make sure you and your partner are aware how sex will affect your body, and what care you’ll need before, during and after sex.

For more information and resources check out Transgender NI Sexual Health for Young people